The singer Frank Sinatra has given as a wonderful and touching rendition of how to face the inevitable, that is, the final curtain. Perhaps, it’s safe to say that if there’s any prevailing emotion that reigns in this crucial moment, it will be fear. When your loved one is already breathing their last few breaths, you will do everything just to let them hang on.
As providers of quality hospice palliative care in Humble, Texas, we recognize this fear as real and valid. As humans, we find satisfaction in situations that we understand. However, passing away is something beyond our comprehension, for who can really paint a clear picture of the after-life? And yet, it will happen.
Is there a way to overcome this fear?
We say yes. However, we don’t mean that you don’t fear anymore. We mean that you will possibly fear for it again, but this time, you have a deeper sense of acceptance and letting go of something without your control. Passing over from fear to acceptance may bring you to at least three milestones, which include denial, delusion, and acceptance.
When your loved one is showing signs of their final goodbye, you will try to hang on to them, or perhaps, you will hang on to what you want to happen, and that is, to still have them with you alive and breathing. You may find it hard to accept that they’re about to let go when all you can remember are the times that you laughed together or enjoyed coffee together. At this point, you might even beg from whoever higher power you know just to extend their life. This stage of denial is as excruciating as it is. But it has to be gone through.
When your loved one finally breathed their last, it will be like the breaking of a precious glass – irreparable. All your happy thoughts of their presence are relived as pictures and images in your mind as if they’re as real and as close as the person next to you, but this time, with a seemingly taunting voice saying you’ve been lied to. You hoped but now you lost. You question even the very strength of hope. You doubt if it has even been real at all. But then, there’s your loved one, lying peacefully, cold and rigid, and then you know that all you’ve been hoping for them and with them are now permanently and irreparably shattered.
Our team providing hospice care in Texas continues to extend support and empathy to the surviving loved ones of the patient who passed away. We believe that acceptance will happen, no matter how long it takes. This is the moment of humble acceptance that even if the physical presence of your loved one is no longer there, the memory lives on in your heart.
At Devinity Hospice, we’re here not just to affirm the reality of finality, but also to see hope beyond finality.